MY 6 MOST MANIPULATIVE LINES

There is a saying that “Persuasion is more effective than force” and while most of us would tend to agree with it, the trouble is the thin line that separates persuasion and manipulation. (the same thin line that separates caring and controlling) and the thing with manipulation is that it is usually done among people with intimate relationships, the most common is between parents and their children, and it runs both ways. Below are some expressions which I consider to be manipulative. I’m sure you’ve heard these before, either being said to you or you telling others at some point in your life. this compilation is my opinion based on my experience, I’ve added some comments to make it amusing (at least) hopefully you’ll enjoy reading even if you don’t agree with it. (and if you do-next time somebody tells you…)

1.) I LOVE YOU
This one I’m sure we all agree, win hands down, as one of the most manipulative expression of all time, it has been used, misused and abused, for selfish interest.

2.) THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
Another expression that has been abused, and is all so familiar among kids, and while I don’t question the intention, there are times when we are intelligent enough to asses the situation honestly, and objectively, is it really for your own good or more for the one saying it?

3.)IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT…..
Your career, your studies, your…. etc. and of course my favorite, “if you really love me, you would”… (fill in the blanks)

4.) CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
* When someone buttonholes you with this approach, beware! The use of this sentence is unfair; it’s blackmailing. The speaker traps the listener, who has to listen to the request or be rude. And in giving consent to listen the listener is placed in a dilemma by the word favor. He has to grant something against his own best interest, or to appear in an uncharitable light. Watch out for him.
and don’t you find it equally manipulative if not annoying when said in the vernacular? “Hanggyo lang kini kung mosugot ka”.



5.) IT’S ONLY A SUGGESTION
The most common opening for unsolicited advise, but let’s face it, even when we say that, we don’t admit, that deep inside, we expect our advise to be taken at face value. Maybe we should follow it up with- “TAKE NOTE WHO IS MAKING THE SUGGESTION”.




6.) IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE
No I’m not saying this isn’t true because I subscribe to this wisdom, but not when you’re invited to a free Orientation seminar for a direct selling company, or an association/organization, and suddenly the seminar takes longer than originally scheduled and you have to excuse yourself because of your other obligations, or they will schedule another meeting which just happens to be in conflict with your other commitments, when organizers will suddenly lay that expression on you…how convenient.


*Peoplewatching; research briefs on human behavior. Academic Publishing Corp.